1 00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:08,553 What? 2 00:00:08,553 --> 00:00:10,095 No, I didn't steal this shit. 3 00:00:10,095 --> 00:00:12,011 If you bothered to watch last week's episode, 4 00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:13,470 you'd know that. 5 00:00:15,261 --> 00:00:16,679 Police! 6 00:00:16,679 --> 00:00:18,720 Police! 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,303 - Jesus! 8 00:00:20,303 --> 00:00:21,887 - What the fuck, asshole? - Shit! 9 00:00:21,887 --> 00:00:23,637 What the fuck 10 00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:26,553 Mikey? 11 00:00:26,553 --> 00:00:28,053 Frank. 12 00:00:28,053 --> 00:00:29,345 I deserve to feel special. 13 00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,136 Don't look at me like that. 14 00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:36,261 I've got a system. It's all going back. 15 00:00:36,261 --> 00:00:37,970 You're a disgrace, Gallagher. 16 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:40,178 I never, ever want to see your face again, 17 00:00:40,178 --> 00:00:43,261 not on my campus and not ever in my army. 18 00:00:43,261 --> 00:00:44,136 We clear, son? 19 00:00:44,136 --> 00:00:45,428 Crystal, sir. 20 00:00:47,887 --> 00:00:49,887 Boy or girl? 21 00:00:49,887 --> 00:00:51,970 - Boy. - Tami? 22 00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:55,220 We don't know yet. She's still in surgery. 24 00:02:19,804 --> 00:02:21,553 Hey, any of those glazed doughnut holes 25 00:02:21,553 --> 00:02:23,345 left down in the break room? 26 00:02:23,345 --> 00:02:24,595 Mm-hmm. 27 00:02:45,387 --> 00:02:50,011 Mm. 28 00:02:50,011 --> 00:02:51,595 Hey. 29 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:18,053 Ugh! Get the fuck off me! 30 00:03:19,553 --> 00:03:21,303 What's your problem? 31 00:03:21,303 --> 00:03:22,220 I'm sick of the smell of goddamn mayonnaise. 32 00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:23,512 It's like getting screwed 33 00:03:23,512 --> 00:03:25,095 by a bowl of potato salad every morning. 34 00:03:25,095 --> 00:03:27,136 It's the only lube we have in this shithole. 35 00:03:27,136 --> 00:03:29,345 Well, it makes me wanna gag every time you come near me. 36 00:03:29,345 --> 00:03:31,220 Oh, yeah, 'cause you taking a shit every night at 8:15 37 00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:33,387 is a real fuckin' bed of roses. 38 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,053 At least my shit gets flushed, 39 00:03:35,053 --> 00:03:36,887 unlike your coleslaw-smellin' dick. 40 00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:39,303 Can't be 8:30, can it? Or seven o'clock? 41 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:41,261 No, Mickey has to shit every night 42 00:03:41,261 --> 00:03:42,470 at the exact same time. 43 00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:43,679 That's annoying. 44 00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:44,929 - Shut up! - Is it? 45 00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,804 Is it as annoying as the way you lick your finger 46 00:03:46,804 --> 00:03:48,595 every single time you turn the page 47 00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,095 of whatever faggety-ass book you're reading? 48 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:51,595 - Okay. - "My name's Ian. 49 00:03:51,595 --> 00:03:53,595 I can't turn the page like a normal human being. 50 00:03:53,595 --> 00:03:55,595 I have to put my whole goddamn paw in my mouth." 51 00:03:55,595 --> 00:03:57,512 You know what? If you actually knew how to read, 52 00:03:57,512 --> 00:03:59,762 maybe you'd understand, not, "Look at these fucking 53 00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:02,261 squiggle-dings all over this piece of paper!" 54 00:04:02,261 --> 00:04:03,929 Every morning, the same shit! 55 00:04:03,929 --> 00:04:05,595 You're like old women! 56 00:04:05,595 --> 00:04:07,595 I came to prison to get away from my parents. 57 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,679 Eat my cornhole, cocks! 58 00:04:09,679 --> 00:04:11,512 Not if it smells like mayonnaise. 59 00:04:11,512 --> 00:04:13,970 - Exactly! 60 00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:16,303 Let's go! Line it up! 61 00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:22,512 Hey. 62 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,470 I wanna see the warden about getting a new roommate. 63 00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:26,095 What is this, fuckin' summer camp? 64 00:04:26,095 --> 00:04:28,095 Get your ass to breakfast. 65 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,345 Hey, we made it, huh? 66 00:05:16,345 --> 00:05:17,720 No problem. 67 00:05:29,845 --> 00:05:31,720 Asses up if you want coffee! 68 00:05:38,595 --> 00:05:40,720 You start bonin' dudes while I was away at school? 69 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,011 Occasionally, if the mood strikes. 70 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,345 I was talkin' to Frank. 71 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,720 Can't two grown men share a bed together 72 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,220 without it being sexual? 73 00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,804 - No. 74 00:05:53,637 --> 00:05:55,387 Go for Carl. 75 00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:56,720 Yeah, yeah, it's still available. 76 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,679 All right. I'll send you the address. 77 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,720 Stinky, dirty, wet! 78 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,136 Wash your own shit! 79 00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:07,720 You both owe me rent money. 80 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:09,136 Oh, come on. 81 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,387 Thirty-seven bucks a night, 82 00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:12,220 plus five if you'll be showering. 83 00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:14,595 - What about Carl? - I'm selling my military gear 84 00:06:14,595 --> 00:06:16,387 - to get some cash. - Electricity, gas, 85 00:06:16,387 --> 00:06:18,303 and water for the month is 48 bucks. 86 00:06:18,303 --> 00:06:20,053 Let me know if you'll be eating here. 87 00:06:20,053 --> 00:06:22,512 I have various meal plans available. 88 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,804 You don't need to pay rent, Frank. 89 00:06:24,804 --> 00:06:26,970 You're the patriarch of this family. 90 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,762 He is? 91 00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:30,595 I'm keeping the coffee warm for ten minutes. 92 00:06:30,595 --> 00:06:32,178 Then I'm dumping it. 93 00:06:32,178 --> 00:06:33,679 - Little Red Riding Twat 94 00:06:33,679 --> 00:06:36,845 needs to understand who's boss around here. 95 00:06:36,845 --> 00:06:38,428 Me? 96 00:06:38,428 --> 00:06:41,345 Yes, you. 97 00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:54,929 - What's goin' on? 98 00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:57,220 Tryin' to figure out who I am, 99 00:06:57,220 --> 00:07:00,553 what's my identity Dr. King, Dr. Dre? 100 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,136 Maybe you should set your sights lower, 101 00:07:02,136 --> 00:07:04,387 you know, like Tiga, Nelly, 102 00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:05,804 or maybe one of the Wayans brothers. 103 00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:07,303 Or Lester Holt. 104 00:07:41,845 --> 00:07:44,428 - You Carl? - Who's asking? 105 00:07:44,428 --> 00:07:46,303 I answered an ad on Craigslist. 106 00:07:46,303 --> 00:07:48,345 Lookin' to buy some military gear. 107 00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:50,095 - It's all right here. - Cool. 108 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,970 You take 75? 109 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,178 Ad said 100. 110 00:07:53,178 --> 00:07:55,178 I figured I'd try. 111 00:07:55,178 --> 00:07:56,553 - Figured I'd walk away. - Wait, no, no, no. 112 00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:57,845 Here, here. 113 00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,428 It's fine. Hundred bucks. 114 00:08:01,303 --> 00:08:03,261 It's all there. I promise. 115 00:08:03,261 --> 00:08:05,512 I'm starting ROTC in the fall. 116 00:08:05,512 --> 00:08:06,845 - I gotta train this summer. - Mm. 117 00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:08,679 So what got you interested in becoming an officer? 118 00:08:08,679 --> 00:08:10,136 Went down to the recruiting offices, 119 00:08:10,136 --> 00:08:11,345 played them shoot-'em-up video games? 120 00:08:11,345 --> 00:08:13,887 Something like that. 121 00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,929 Can I have the bag? 122 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,470 What, the recruiters make you think 123 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:18,637 you're gonna become this officer, 124 00:08:18,637 --> 00:08:20,970 big war hero, leading men into battle? 125 00:08:20,970 --> 00:08:22,762 I don't know. Maybe. I guess. 126 00:08:22,762 --> 00:08:24,637 They tell you that you could be one of the very few, 127 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:25,970 make a difference, 128 00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:27,303 that you could do something your life, 129 00:08:27,303 --> 00:08:28,637 change your destiny? 130 00:08:28,637 --> 00:08:30,679 Hey, might even become a general one day. 131 00:08:30,679 --> 00:08:33,804 My mom's gonna start worrying if I don't get home soon. 132 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,720 You know that's a bunch of horseshit. 133 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,887 They don't want guys like us to enlist as officers 134 00:08:37,887 --> 00:08:39,720 you know, guys from the South Side, 135 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,720 guys who aren't very smart, kinda slow. 136 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,595 They're just trying to fill their quota, 137 00:08:44,595 --> 00:08:47,637 gettin' us hooked on the thrill of the kill. 138 00:08:47,637 --> 00:08:49,345 Then they spit us out when we can't handle 139 00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:51,387 quantum physics or even read. 140 00:08:51,387 --> 00:08:52,387 - I can read. - And then they leave us 141 00:08:52,387 --> 00:08:53,387 on the side of the road 142 00:08:53,387 --> 00:08:55,095 with the taste of blood in our mouths, 143 00:08:55,095 --> 00:08:56,136 and what do we do? 144 00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,804 We enlist as grunts. 145 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,261 And while they get all the medals 146 00:08:59,261 --> 00:09:01,720 and cushy postings up in Japan and Germany, 147 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,053 where are we, poor boys from disadvantaged backgrounds 148 00:09:04,053 --> 00:09:05,720 like you and me? 149 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,553 Somalia, Fallujah, that's where. 150 00:09:08,553 --> 00:09:10,220 And then when we finally get sent home, 151 00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,887 it's in a body bag. 152 00:09:12,887 --> 00:09:14,303 Not me. 153 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,261 Not Carl Gallagher. No, thank you. 154 00:09:16,261 --> 00:09:17,261 I ain't no one's human shield. 155 00:09:17,261 --> 00:09:18,470 Can I just have my money back 156 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,762 if you're not gonna sell me the shit? 157 00:09:27,595 --> 00:09:30,845 Only thing left in these Oxy bottles is dust. 158 00:09:30,845 --> 00:09:33,428 You have a toothbrush I can use, Frank? 159 00:09:33,428 --> 00:09:35,679 They're communal. Just grab one. 160 00:09:37,095 --> 00:09:39,387 The fuck is that? 161 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:45,804 How 'bout we head over to that Russian bakery 162 00:09:45,804 --> 00:09:48,929 and snag some of those muffin samples for breakfast, huh? 163 00:09:48,929 --> 00:09:50,637 No can do, partner. 164 00:09:50,637 --> 00:09:53,136 We gotta hit the streets, do some work. 165 00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,220 What? Why? 166 00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:56,178 You heard Debbie. 167 00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,553 - Rent money. - You're not seriously gonna do 168 00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:00,679 what she told you to do, are you? 169 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:04,720 That girl's got a serious dose of her mother's crazy DNA. 170 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,720 We come home with empty pockets, 171 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,553 she may cut our tits off. 172 00:10:08,553 --> 00:10:09,679 How 'bout your kids? They got any money 173 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:11,470 - we could bum off 'em? - Not a cent. 174 00:10:11,470 --> 00:10:13,261 I went through their backpacks last night 175 00:10:13,261 --> 00:10:15,387 while they were sleeping. 176 00:10:15,387 --> 00:10:17,303 Me too. 177 00:10:17,303 --> 00:10:20,470 Mm, I'm afraid it's an honest day's work 178 00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,303 for you and me, mi amigo. 179 00:10:22,303 --> 00:10:24,595 Any scams you wanna try? 180 00:10:24,595 --> 00:10:26,804 How 'bout the Distract and Grab? 181 00:10:26,804 --> 00:10:27,970 Could do the Melon Drop. 182 00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:29,637 Old-fashioned Pig in the Poke? 183 00:10:29,637 --> 00:10:33,470 I'm always down for a classic Ukrainian Peekaboo. 184 00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:34,929 All good by me. 185 00:10:34,929 --> 00:10:36,136 All right. 186 00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:40,428 It's just a crime, that's all, 187 00:10:40,428 --> 00:10:42,261 that-that Debbie doesn't give you 188 00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:45,470 the respect you deserve. 189 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,053 Tell me about it. 190 00:10:47,053 --> 00:10:50,679 You know, you sacrificed so much for her. 191 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,428 That, I did. 192 00:10:52,428 --> 00:10:54,261 You know, she's ungrateful... 193 00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:55,679 - Yep. - ...entitled... 194 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,178 - Mm-hmm. - ...spoiled. 195 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,720 You know her well. 196 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,011 Too bad there's not a way 197 00:11:00,011 --> 00:11:01,720 we could take control away from her, 198 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,970 you know, make you... make you the king of the house, 199 00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:06,095 you know, you set the rules here. 200 00:11:06,095 --> 00:11:09,178 Y-yeah, but how? 201 00:11:09,178 --> 00:11:12,553 I'm not sure. I mean, wishful thinking, I guess. 202 00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:14,053 I gotta go get dressed. 203 00:11:14,053 --> 00:11:16,011 I don't wanna be late for work. 204 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,345 Check it out, Franny. 205 00:11:29,345 --> 00:11:31,720 I've worn these guys, like, 15 times, 206 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,929 and they're in perfect... condition. 207 00:11:33,929 --> 00:11:35,303 Ha. 208 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,637 Ready to be returned to the store today. 209 00:11:37,637 --> 00:11:40,220 The key is plastic sole protectors. 210 00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:42,428 Your mama's a genius. 211 00:11:42,428 --> 00:11:45,845 - Can I get 125 bucks? - I'm sure you can, 212 00:11:45,845 --> 00:11:47,512 if you got a job instead of lounging around 213 00:11:47,512 --> 00:11:49,220 watching YouTube videos all summer. 214 00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:51,303 From my share of the Fiona money. 215 00:11:51,303 --> 00:11:53,303 Mm...no. 216 00:11:53,303 --> 00:11:55,804 - Why not? - It's in the bank... 217 00:11:55,804 --> 00:11:57,720 getting two point four percent compound interest. 218 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,053 Isn't it supposed to be all of our money? 219 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,804 What do you need it for anyways? 220 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:03,762 You get some girl in trouble or something? 221 00:12:03,762 --> 00:12:06,053 No! I'm ten. 222 00:12:06,053 --> 00:12:08,387 Besides, abortions are free anyway. 223 00:12:08,387 --> 00:12:09,929 They are? 224 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:12,595 The state of Illinois 225 00:12:12,595 --> 00:12:15,595 supports women having control of their bodies. 226 00:12:15,595 --> 00:12:16,970 What do you need it for, then? 227 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,804 A DNA test. 228 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,553 Monica already did one of those. 229 00:12:20,553 --> 00:12:21,929 Your hers... and Frank's. 230 00:12:21,929 --> 00:12:23,679 Sorry to tell you. 231 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,345 An africanancestry.com DNA test. 232 00:12:27,345 --> 00:12:29,261 Wanna see where I come from. 233 00:12:29,261 --> 00:12:31,762 You come from Africa. Happy? 234 00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:33,887 Are you ready to go? 235 00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:36,095 Let's go. 236 00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:41,845 - Let go, baby. 237 00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:51,011 - Hey, Debs. - Hey. 238 00:12:51,011 --> 00:12:52,136 Here's the new daddy. 239 00:12:52,136 --> 00:12:54,011 Hey, Franny. 240 00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,637 What's up with that glove? 241 00:12:55,637 --> 00:12:57,303 Oh, I stole a few from the hospital 242 00:12:57,303 --> 00:13:00,011 so I'm not touching him with a smoky hand later, you know? 243 00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,303 Or you could just quit. 244 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,679 Oh, hi! 245 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,387 There's my sweet little nephew. 246 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,595 What'd you decide to name him? 247 00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:09,762 Freddie. 248 00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:11,970 Like Kruger? 249 00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:14,428 Uh...Fred, then. 250 00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:16,470 - Fred Flintstone? - I don't know. 251 00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:17,762 I was tired as shit when I filled out the forms 252 00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:19,136 at the hospital. 253 00:13:19,136 --> 00:13:20,637 It was the first name I thought of. 254 00:13:20,637 --> 00:13:23,303 It's my professor's name, Clyde Fred Youens. 255 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,845 Hopefully Tami likes it. 256 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,303 We didn't really have a chance to discuss it. 257 00:13:27,303 --> 00:13:29,762 - How's she doin'? - She's got a bad infection. 258 00:13:29,762 --> 00:13:31,512 She's all jacked up on drugs. 259 00:13:31,512 --> 00:13:33,095 It's a little touch-and-go. 260 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,136 I think she'll be fine. 261 00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,637 You know, hopefully she'll be fine. 262 00:13:39,637 --> 00:13:41,762 Yeah. I'm sorry. 263 00:13:43,637 --> 00:13:46,136 All right, well... 264 00:13:46,136 --> 00:13:47,679 ...see you later. 265 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,679 - Come on, Franny. - Bye. Wait, whoa. 266 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,053 You're not gonna help me out today? 267 00:13:51,053 --> 00:13:52,679 No can do. I got shit to do. 268 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:54,345 The new couch is getting delivered today. 269 00:13:54,345 --> 00:13:56,178 Can you make sure to let the delivery guy in? 270 00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:58,762 Come on, Debs, I-I need a nap. I been up, like, 27 hours. 271 00:13:58,762 --> 00:14:01,011 Get used to it. It's your new normal. 272 00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:03,553 Fine. Yeah, no, we'll be... 273 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:05,762 we'll be fine. 274 00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:10,428 Shit! Hey. 275 00:14:19,887 --> 00:14:21,887 Good-bye, LeBrons. 276 00:14:23,804 --> 00:14:26,720 Here you go. Take 'em. 277 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,303 Thought they were gonna help me play b-ball better, 278 00:14:28,303 --> 00:14:30,053 but... 279 00:14:30,053 --> 00:14:32,845 I guess I'm, uh, 280 00:14:32,845 --> 00:14:33,887 past my prime. 281 00:14:35,053 --> 00:14:36,887 Just the middleman here, amigo. 282 00:14:36,887 --> 00:14:39,387 - Got a can in this place? 283 00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:40,720 Yeah, right over there. 284 00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:45,220 I'll take a beer and a shot of Jaeger when I'm out. 285 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,428 Okay. 286 00:14:50,053 --> 00:14:51,970 He just leaves them here? 287 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,553 Maybe he's telling you it's okay to pull a Scamazon. 288 00:14:54,553 --> 00:14:56,261 - A what? - Scamazon. 289 00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:59,345 I returned my microwave, 290 00:14:59,345 --> 00:15:03,345 except I put a brick in the box instead of the microwave. 291 00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:05,804 Soon as On Board Shipping scanned the return, 292 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:08,845 my money was instantly credited back to me. 293 00:15:08,845 --> 00:15:10,428 They never checked inside the box. 294 00:15:10,428 --> 00:15:12,720 That's genius. 295 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,136 ...ly stupid is what I was gonna say. 296 00:15:15,136 --> 00:15:17,470 - Why's that again? - Because it's wrong. 297 00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:18,720 It's wrong. 298 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,261 Not if it's a big corporation. 299 00:15:20,261 --> 00:15:21,428 Yeah, he's right. 300 00:15:21,428 --> 00:15:22,929 I'd never do it to a little guy, you know, 301 00:15:22,929 --> 00:15:25,011 like some mom-and-pop place. 302 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,845 But a big company, they factor that stuff in. 303 00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:30,220 It's stealing no matter who you do it to. 304 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,512 Then I guess you don't wanna know 305 00:15:31,512 --> 00:15:33,136 about another way to Scamazon. 306 00:15:33,136 --> 00:15:34,178 - No. - Yes. 307 00:15:34,178 --> 00:15:35,470 I ordered shit, 308 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:37,136 told them that I didn't receive it, 309 00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:38,553 even though I did. 310 00:15:38,553 --> 00:15:40,261 So they sent me another. 311 00:15:40,261 --> 00:15:42,136 You mean I coulda got two pairs of sneakers? 312 00:15:42,136 --> 00:15:43,970 That's why I have two fleshlights. 313 00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:46,011 You saying flashlight or fleshlight? 314 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:48,220 I think you know what I'm sayin'. 315 00:15:48,220 --> 00:15:49,845 That delivery guy's dead. 316 00:15:49,845 --> 00:15:51,804 Can I have another beer, please? 317 00:15:53,762 --> 00:15:55,095 What? 318 00:15:55,095 --> 00:15:57,136 He said he wants another beer. 319 00:15:58,929 --> 00:16:01,637 - Aw, jeez. - Oh, jeez. 320 00:16:01,637 --> 00:16:03,261 What's he doing with a belt around his neck 321 00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:05,303 - while he was taking a piss? - He was jacking off, Kev. 322 00:16:05,303 --> 00:16:06,970 And strangling himself at the same time. 323 00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:08,512 Why? 324 00:16:08,512 --> 00:16:10,637 - 'Cause it feels good. - Mm. 325 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,387 Is that that autoerotic shit? 326 00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:13,178 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 327 00:16:13,178 --> 00:16:15,804 Aw, dude, come on! 328 00:16:15,804 --> 00:16:17,178 I never had the courage. 329 00:16:17,178 --> 00:16:18,261 Why the fuck's he doing it in our bathroom? 330 00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:19,845 Couldn't he wait till he got home? 331 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,345 - When the urge hits... - You guys are idiots. 332 00:16:22,345 --> 00:16:24,011 He didn't use a lemon. 333 00:16:24,011 --> 00:16:25,845 Even I don't know that one. 334 00:16:25,845 --> 00:16:27,929 Y-you keep a lemon in your mouth. 335 00:16:27,929 --> 00:16:30,053 That way, when you pass out and start to seize, 336 00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:32,720 you bite into the lemon, wake yourself up. 337 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,053 Maybe I should try that sometime, then. 338 00:16:35,053 --> 00:16:37,178 - So what do we do now? - Call the cops. 339 00:16:37,178 --> 00:16:38,970 Or we could raid his truck first. 340 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:40,261 - Yes. - Yeah. 341 00:16:40,261 --> 00:16:42,011 - I mean, dead is dead. - Yeah. 342 00:16:42,011 --> 00:16:43,345 What's a couple of hours? 343 00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:44,387 That's a good point. Let's go. 344 00:16:44,387 --> 00:16:45,470 Yeah. 345 00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:47,387 Hold on! Stop. 346 00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:49,178 V's right. Stop. 347 00:16:49,178 --> 00:16:51,095 This joker comes into my bathroom, 348 00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:53,053 jacks off, chokes himself, 349 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,970 then was gonna have a shot and a beer, 350 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,220 go back on his big truck to work 351 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,970 all hammered and jizzed out do I have this right? 352 00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:00,887 - Absolutely correct. - Yeah. 353 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,053 One hundred percent. 354 00:17:03,553 --> 00:17:05,095 Fuck him. He coulda killed a kid. 355 00:17:05,095 --> 00:17:06,804 He deserves to have his truck ransacked. 356 00:17:06,804 --> 00:17:09,053 Move. I got first dibs. 357 00:17:09,053 --> 00:17:11,387 - That's my girl. 358 00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:17,220 One-eighty over 120. 359 00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:20,387 That's high, Ernesto. You gotta cut out the salt. 360 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,261 Salt's the only edible thing in this place. 361 00:17:22,261 --> 00:17:23,720 Yeah, well... 362 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,804 About halfway finished there, Chester. 363 00:17:25,804 --> 00:17:29,011 Put some Drano in the line, take me outta my misery. 364 00:17:29,011 --> 00:17:30,428 Hey, come on, now. 365 00:17:30,428 --> 00:17:31,845 You're up for a compassionate release, right? 366 00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:35,178 Compassionate release, my ass. 367 00:17:35,178 --> 00:17:37,553 The only person my release would be compassionate to 368 00:17:37,553 --> 00:17:40,804 is Mr. Johnny Dingleberry taxpayer 369 00:17:40,804 --> 00:17:42,261 who doesn't wanna foot the bill 370 00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:45,053 for my medical expenses in here. 371 00:17:45,053 --> 00:17:47,053 You get to see your family, your friends. 372 00:17:47,053 --> 00:17:48,595 They're all dead. 373 00:17:48,595 --> 00:17:51,553 Why do you think they put me in here in the first place? 374 00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:52,929 Make new friends. 375 00:17:52,929 --> 00:17:55,762 I been in here for 30 years. 376 00:17:55,762 --> 00:17:57,637 I wouldn't survive two days out there. 377 00:17:57,637 --> 00:17:59,178 I'm pissin' blood. 378 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:01,470 My shingles are flarin' up. 379 00:18:01,470 --> 00:18:04,970 And I've got dementia... I think. 380 00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:08,720 Hey, let me ask you a question. 381 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,261 How'd you and Marco survive in that cell all those years 382 00:18:11,261 --> 00:18:13,220 - without killing each other? - Oh, that's easy. 383 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:14,595 You ju 384 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,512 Oh, wait, now. 385 00:18:17,512 --> 00:18:18,762 Who's Marco? 386 00:18:18,762 --> 00:18:20,887 Your prison wife. 387 00:18:20,887 --> 00:18:23,178 You were together, like, 12 years. 388 00:18:23,178 --> 00:18:26,679 He's six-foot-five, Hispanic. 389 00:18:26,679 --> 00:18:28,553 He likes to eat people's faces. 390 00:18:28,553 --> 00:18:30,929 Does sound like someone I'd date. 391 00:18:30,929 --> 00:18:32,261 Okay, never mind. 392 00:18:32,261 --> 00:18:34,804 Are you talkin' about you and Mickey? 393 00:18:34,804 --> 00:18:37,470 Okay, you remember Mickey but not Marco? 394 00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,470 Who's Marco? 395 00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,470 - Forget about it. - Uh, you and your fella 396 00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,553 just need a little time apart, 397 00:18:43,553 --> 00:18:45,470 a temporary separation. 398 00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:47,637 A mini vacation. 399 00:18:47,637 --> 00:18:49,595 How am I supposed to do that in prison? 400 00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:50,595 I'll tell ya how. 401 00:18:53,053 --> 00:18:55,178 But you need to stab me. 402 00:18:55,178 --> 00:18:57,804 Just deep enough so they have to keep me here, 403 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:01,970 and then you can go to solitary for a couple of weeks. 404 00:19:04,804 --> 00:19:06,637 Let's go while I'm middle-aged, huh? 405 00:19:06,637 --> 00:19:08,387 - Hurry up, Kev! - I'm trying. 406 00:19:08,387 --> 00:19:10,220 He's got, like, a million keys. 407 00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:11,679 Let's go. I'm losin' my beer buzz. 408 00:19:11,679 --> 00:19:14,095 Okay, I hear all of you! 409 00:19:14,095 --> 00:19:15,929 Dude, let's go, come on. 410 00:19:15,929 --> 00:19:17,512 Got it. Jackpot! 411 00:19:17,512 --> 00:19:19,762 Stand back. 412 00:19:24,053 --> 00:19:26,845 - Oh, wow. - Holy shit. 413 00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:27,845 Gimme some! 414 00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,720 This is like rich people Christmas. 415 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,345 God is great! 416 00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:36,178 I been praying for this moment since I was six years old. 417 00:19:36,178 --> 00:19:37,970 My good karma is finally paying off. 418 00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:40,136 Shut up, Kevin. Hoist me up. 419 00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:43,095 Yeah, that one right there. 420 00:19:43,095 --> 00:19:46,220 Lyft should be here in a sec. 421 00:19:46,220 --> 00:19:48,637 Silver..."Ha-wan-day." Is that how you say that? 422 00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:49,762 "Hundye." 423 00:19:49,762 --> 00:19:52,845 I think it's "Hunday." 424 00:19:52,845 --> 00:19:54,845 You wanna get hit or cut? 425 00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:56,261 Let's flip a coin. 426 00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,929 If we had a coin, we wouldn't be out here. 427 00:19:58,929 --> 00:20:00,804 - I'll get cut. - Sounds good. 428 00:20:00,804 --> 00:20:02,053 I'll get hit. 429 00:20:02,053 --> 00:20:03,220 - Okay. 430 00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:04,929 See you around the corner. 431 00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:10,720 Mickey? 432 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,970 It's Mikey. 433 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:15,053 Who the fuck is Mickey? 434 00:20:25,011 --> 00:20:26,011 How's your day going so far? 435 00:20:26,011 --> 00:20:28,136 Oh, uh, fine. 436 00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:30,929 Um, could you put on a little classical music? 437 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:32,679 Yeah, sure thing. 438 00:20:36,804 --> 00:20:38,470 - Oh, shit! 439 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,762 Ahh! Ohh! Ahh! 440 00:20:40,762 --> 00:20:42,845 Watch what you're doing, lady! 441 00:20:42,845 --> 00:20:44,929 You just hit that man! 442 00:20:44,929 --> 00:20:47,470 - Oh, God! - Are you okay? 443 00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,303 I think you broke my leg. 444 00:20:49,303 --> 00:20:51,720 - Oh, God! - And my face, it's bleeding! 445 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,428 Um, okay, stay right there. I'll call the police 446 00:20:54,428 --> 00:20:55,804 - and an ambulance. - Oh, oh, oh! Oh, no! 447 00:20:55,804 --> 00:20:57,845 I-I-I can go to the ER myself. 448 00:20:57,845 --> 00:21:00,053 I'll probably hobble there myself too. 449 00:21:00,053 --> 00:21:02,178 No, but your leg! I'll drive you both. 450 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,970 No disrespect, but... 451 00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:06,220 I'm too scared to get in your death mobile again. 452 00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,679 Hey, what are they hitting ya for at the ER these days? 453 00:21:08,679 --> 00:21:10,261 Couple hundy. 454 00:21:10,261 --> 00:21:12,136 Oy. I'm no Rockefeller. 455 00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:15,136 I-I'm just gonna wait till my leg heals. 456 00:21:17,011 --> 00:21:20,637 Unless...you wanted to make things right. 457 00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,804 You fools are a couple of scam artists, aren't you? 458 00:21:26,804 --> 00:21:28,970 - What are you talking about? - No! 459 00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:30,261 Oh, wait, wait, wait. 460 00:21:30,261 --> 00:21:33,136 You old farts need to get fresh. 461 00:21:34,804 --> 00:21:36,428 Hey, wait. You're leaving... 462 00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:38,387 you're leaving a crime scene! 463 00:21:40,136 --> 00:21:41,804 Fresh? 464 00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:45,970 You wanna go again? 465 00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:48,011 I'll get cut this time. 466 00:21:48,011 --> 00:21:49,470 Fresh. 467 00:21:52,637 --> 00:21:54,553 Dude, your kid is totally white. 468 00:21:54,553 --> 00:21:57,679 Doesn't even look like he has one drop of black blood in him. 469 00:21:57,679 --> 00:22:00,220 Yeah, well, have you seen his parents? 470 00:22:00,220 --> 00:22:01,345 You know, when we screwed, 471 00:22:01,345 --> 00:22:03,011 it was like two pieces of chalk fucking. 472 00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:04,804 Isn't it easier just to quit smoking? 473 00:22:04,804 --> 00:22:06,261 Plannin' on it, but... 474 00:22:06,261 --> 00:22:07,387 I thought I'd have a lot more time 475 00:22:07,387 --> 00:22:09,804 before the baby came, and, you know, besides, 476 00:22:09,804 --> 00:22:12,095 the nicotine's keeping me awake and... 477 00:22:12,095 --> 00:22:13,553 calm my nerves. 478 00:22:13,553 --> 00:22:15,428 This dad shit's scary. 479 00:22:15,428 --> 00:22:16,845 - You raised us. - Yeah, but I didn't care 480 00:22:16,845 --> 00:22:18,512 if I killed you guys. 481 00:22:18,512 --> 00:22:19,762 I wanna keep Freddie alive. 482 00:22:21,220 --> 00:22:23,136 Why am I the only one in the family 483 00:22:23,136 --> 00:22:24,595 that has black skin? 484 00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:26,595 Think it has something to do with Monica's granddad, 485 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,845 although we never really got a straight answer. 486 00:22:29,845 --> 00:22:31,970 Sucks not knowing my family tree. 487 00:22:31,970 --> 00:22:33,595 Who cares? 488 00:22:33,595 --> 00:22:35,679 - You're a Gallagher. - Yeah. 489 00:22:35,679 --> 00:22:37,512 In this house, I am, but out there, 490 00:22:37,512 --> 00:22:40,011 I'm a black kid that lives on the South Side of Chicago. 491 00:22:41,887 --> 00:22:43,720 I went to Urban Outfitters, 492 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,387 and a security guard followed me for 20 minutes. 493 00:22:46,387 --> 00:22:48,428 Says "urban" in their title. 494 00:22:48,428 --> 00:22:50,887 - Okay, he's hungry. 495 00:22:50,887 --> 00:22:53,553 Uh, this is gonna be his first feeding at home. 496 00:22:53,553 --> 00:22:55,387 You have a bottle or something I can warm up? 497 00:22:55,387 --> 00:22:58,220 Nope. Tami wants me to breastfeed him. 498 00:22:58,220 --> 00:22:59,970 How? 499 00:23:02,095 --> 00:23:03,679 Oh. 500 00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:06,595 I know it's ridiculous, but... 501 00:23:06,595 --> 00:23:11,637 Tami says he needs to learn how to latch onto the boob. 502 00:23:11,637 --> 00:23:14,887 Yeah, it's also good for attachment and shit. 503 00:23:14,887 --> 00:23:17,470 Here we go. Let's show Liam how we do it, huh? 504 00:23:17,470 --> 00:23:20,095 - You wanna show Uncle Liam? 505 00:23:20,095 --> 00:23:21,804 You wanna show Uncle Liam? Here we go. Here we go. 506 00:23:21,804 --> 00:23:23,303 Here we go. Shh, shh, shh. 507 00:23:23,303 --> 00:23:25,679 A little suck. A little suck. 508 00:23:25,679 --> 00:23:28,220 - Little suck, little suck. 509 00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:31,011 And shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 510 00:23:32,220 --> 00:23:33,428 He-e-ey! 511 00:23:33,428 --> 00:23:35,303 Hey, he did it! 512 00:23:35,303 --> 00:23:37,512 He did it. He's sucking. He latched! 513 00:23:37,512 --> 00:23:40,220 You're like a walking PSA to wear a condom. 514 00:23:54,637 --> 00:23:57,512 Okay, so that's three Cap'n Bob's fish specials, 515 00:23:57,512 --> 00:24:00,470 one with tots, one with fries, and one with slaw. 516 00:24:00,470 --> 00:24:01,804 Be ready in 15. 517 00:24:03,345 --> 00:24:04,637 Yo, where do you think you're going? 518 00:24:04,637 --> 00:24:06,136 Are you deaf or something? 519 00:24:06,136 --> 00:24:08,637 I'm looking for Lori. She, uh, doing a bank run? 520 00:24:08,637 --> 00:24:10,679 You want me to cap your ass or what? 521 00:24:10,679 --> 00:24:13,053 - I'd like to see you try. - Don't think I won't. 522 00:24:13,053 --> 00:24:13,970 Carl Gallagher. 523 00:24:13,970 --> 00:24:16,720 Hey. 524 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,679 Mm. Smells as good as the day I met ya. 525 00:24:19,679 --> 00:24:21,470 You're Carl. 526 00:24:21,470 --> 00:24:23,387 Yeah. Heard of me? 527 00:24:23,387 --> 00:24:25,762 This is Anne Gonzalez, assistant manager. 528 00:24:25,762 --> 00:24:28,679 Tough as nails. She keeps everybody in line. 529 00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:33,553 So... 530 00:24:33,553 --> 00:24:35,095 you ready to get back to work? 531 00:24:35,095 --> 00:24:37,345 - Yeah. - Great. 532 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,011 Hey, Dirk, 533 00:24:41,011 --> 00:24:43,136 Carl's back. 534 00:24:43,136 --> 00:24:45,011 Arrivederci, buddy. 535 00:24:45,929 --> 00:24:47,553 Oh, shit. 536 00:24:47,553 --> 00:24:49,136 I'm sorry, Wheels. 537 00:24:49,136 --> 00:24:51,011 I told you this day was gonna come. 538 00:24:51,011 --> 00:24:52,220 You firing me, Lori? 539 00:24:52,220 --> 00:24:53,387 You should be collecting disability. 540 00:24:53,387 --> 00:24:55,261 What you wanna work for anyway? 541 00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,595 - Have a purpose in life? - Overrated. 542 00:24:59,095 --> 00:25:00,929 I'll go get your uniform. 543 00:25:00,929 --> 00:25:03,345 I been savin' it. 544 00:25:03,345 --> 00:25:04,637 - Can I help you? - Picking up an order 545 00:25:04,637 --> 00:25:06,095 for Pedro. 546 00:25:08,387 --> 00:25:11,720 Uh, two shrimp tacos. That's $7.70. 547 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,387 Friend said I should ask for extra tartar sauce. 548 00:25:15,387 --> 00:25:17,303 It's 26 bucks for the tartar sauce. 549 00:25:17,303 --> 00:25:18,845 And $7.70 for the tacos. 550 00:25:24,887 --> 00:25:26,136 Here you go. 551 00:25:26,136 --> 00:25:28,512 Did you get my letters? 552 00:25:28,512 --> 00:25:31,178 Yeah. Why'd you send me dick pics? 553 00:25:31,178 --> 00:25:34,387 It wasn't my dick, silly. 554 00:25:34,387 --> 00:25:35,929 Now, get your cute keister to work. 555 00:25:35,929 --> 00:25:37,387 Fryolator's calling your name. 556 00:25:59,512 --> 00:26:00,136 Okay, would you stop doing that? 557 00:26:00,136 --> 00:26:01,595 Stop fucking doing that. 558 00:26:01,595 --> 00:26:03,762 For the love of Christ, not again! 559 00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:06,220 Mind your business, Enzo! 560 00:26:06,220 --> 00:26:07,762 We need to talk. 561 00:26:07,762 --> 00:26:09,428 - About what? - About the fact 562 00:26:09,428 --> 00:26:11,220 that we wanna kill each other. 563 00:26:11,220 --> 00:26:12,136 I don't know what you want from me. 564 00:26:12,136 --> 00:26:13,512 Stop bein' so annoying! 565 00:26:15,345 --> 00:26:17,720 You remember when we first got here? 566 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,345 We had fun together. 567 00:26:19,345 --> 00:26:21,887 Yeah. All we did was bang. 568 00:26:21,887 --> 00:26:24,011 We laughed too. 569 00:26:24,011 --> 00:26:26,428 What happened to us? 570 00:26:26,428 --> 00:26:28,303 This place happened. 571 00:26:29,345 --> 00:26:31,762 Gets to ya. 572 00:26:31,762 --> 00:26:33,512 I don't want it to. 573 00:26:33,512 --> 00:26:36,845 Well, don't really have much of a choice. 574 00:26:39,261 --> 00:26:41,637 How 'bout, like, a... 575 00:26:41,637 --> 00:26:43,679 temporary separation? 576 00:26:43,679 --> 00:26:47,136 - How we supposed to do that? - Well, I could stab Chester. 577 00:26:47,136 --> 00:26:48,679 What you wanna stab Chester for? 578 00:26:48,679 --> 00:26:50,428 - He's gonna get released soon. - Who gives a shit? 579 00:26:50,428 --> 00:26:52,011 So if I stab him, he gets to stay and 580 00:26:52,011 --> 00:26:53,303 What are you talking about right now? 581 00:26:53,303 --> 00:26:55,804 And I get sent to solitary. 582 00:26:58,136 --> 00:27:00,762 Wait. A-are you dumpin' me? 583 00:27:02,261 --> 00:27:04,512 - We need a break. - Fuck you. 584 00:27:04,512 --> 00:27:05,804 We can't keep goin' on like this. 585 00:27:05,804 --> 00:27:08,136 Okay, you want a break? I'll give you a break. 586 00:27:08,136 --> 00:27:10,220 I'm gonna stab Chester, and I'm gonna go to solitary. 587 00:27:10,220 --> 00:27:11,637 - What are you talking about? - You're not dumping me. 588 00:27:11,637 --> 00:27:13,804 I'm dumping you. Where's the shiv? 589 00:27:13,804 --> 00:27:15,470 Where'd you put it? 590 00:27:15,470 --> 00:27:17,345 And no, you're not stabbing him. I am. 591 00:27:17,345 --> 00:27:19,178 Free country. 592 00:27:19,178 --> 00:27:20,845 You're an asshole. 593 00:27:20,845 --> 00:27:22,303 Takes one to know one, bitch. 594 00:27:28,387 --> 00:27:29,762 God. 595 00:27:30,887 --> 00:27:33,053 Ah! 596 00:27:33,053 --> 00:27:34,428 Found it, bitch. 597 00:27:34,428 --> 00:27:37,053 - Lockdown. 598 00:27:37,053 --> 00:27:39,387 Oh, you're kidding me. 599 00:27:45,929 --> 00:27:47,637 Hey. 600 00:27:47,637 --> 00:27:49,762 I'm here to return these shoes. 601 00:27:52,804 --> 00:27:54,804 - Anything wrong with them? - No. 602 00:27:54,804 --> 00:27:57,345 I've just got so many of them at home. 603 00:27:57,345 --> 00:28:00,303 - Do you have the receipt? - Sure do. 604 00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:02,053 Here you go. 605 00:28:04,220 --> 00:28:06,428 Thirty days exactly. 606 00:28:06,428 --> 00:28:07,512 Mm. 607 00:28:07,512 --> 00:28:09,470 Why don't I just process this return? 608 00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:11,053 Cool. 609 00:28:11,053 --> 00:28:13,845 But first... 610 00:28:13,845 --> 00:28:15,261 What's that? 611 00:28:15,261 --> 00:28:16,845 Black light. 612 00:28:16,845 --> 00:28:18,720 Need to check if they've been worn. 613 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,679 Oh, uh, well, I mean, look at them. 614 00:28:21,679 --> 00:28:23,553 They've never been worn before. 615 00:28:23,553 --> 00:28:25,720 - You see? - Yes, to my naked eye. 616 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,553 But my naked eye can't see invisible bodily fluids. 617 00:28:29,553 --> 00:28:31,553 You wouldn't imagine what lengths people go to 618 00:28:31,553 --> 00:28:32,762 trying to make it look like 619 00:28:32,762 --> 00:28:34,929 they've never worn a pair of shoes. 620 00:28:34,929 --> 00:28:37,637 Everyone trying to cheat the system. 621 00:28:39,553 --> 00:28:41,011 Including you. 622 00:28:42,637 --> 00:28:44,762 - Excuse me? - Check it out. 623 00:28:44,762 --> 00:28:47,095 Toddler urine. Blood. 624 00:28:47,095 --> 00:28:49,428 Surprise, surprise. 625 00:28:49,428 --> 00:28:52,470 - A little bit of vomit. - You can tell all that? 626 00:28:52,470 --> 00:28:54,428 Sorry, I can't accept these returns. 627 00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:58,261 No, but, sir, your thingy's wrong. 628 00:28:58,261 --> 00:28:59,929 I've never worn those shoes before. 629 00:28:59,929 --> 00:29:02,929 Don't make me look you up on Instagram. 630 00:29:02,929 --> 00:29:05,011 I'm sure you posted plenty of selfies in these shoes. 631 00:29:07,261 --> 00:29:09,387 Please, sir, 632 00:29:09,387 --> 00:29:12,845 I'm a single mother struggling to make ends meet. 633 00:29:12,845 --> 00:29:16,387 I just wanted something nice for once in my life. 634 00:29:16,387 --> 00:29:18,637 I promise you, I will never do this again, 635 00:29:18,637 --> 00:29:20,929 but these shoes are 800 bucks. 636 00:29:20,929 --> 00:29:22,595 I can't afford that. 637 00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:26,553 Suppose I could make an exception. 638 00:29:26,553 --> 00:29:28,845 - Thank you. - Under one condition. 639 00:29:28,845 --> 00:29:31,637 - Anything. - You blow me after my shift. 640 00:29:31,637 --> 00:29:34,595 Why does everything have to come down to sex? 641 00:29:34,595 --> 00:29:36,679 'Cause sex is awesome. 642 00:29:36,679 --> 00:29:39,220 No. You just wanna feel like you have power over me. 643 00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:41,303 That's awesome too. 644 00:29:41,303 --> 00:29:44,720 Can't I just, like, wash your car 645 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,178 or something? 646 00:29:47,178 --> 00:29:48,804 Mm... 647 00:29:48,804 --> 00:29:51,887 not as satisfying. 648 00:29:51,887 --> 00:29:53,929 So it's all about degrading me, then. 649 00:29:55,261 --> 00:29:58,178 I...guess. 650 00:29:58,178 --> 00:30:01,428 Yes, it-it probably is. 651 00:30:06,428 --> 00:30:08,345 Okay. 652 00:30:08,345 --> 00:30:10,970 How 'bout... 653 00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:13,553 how 'bout I give you a blow job? 654 00:30:13,553 --> 00:30:14,845 You just said it was degrading. 655 00:30:14,845 --> 00:30:17,470 It is, when you ask for it. 656 00:30:17,470 --> 00:30:19,345 It's different if you do? 657 00:30:19,345 --> 00:30:22,136 Yeah. 'Cause then it's my choice. 658 00:30:22,136 --> 00:30:24,887 It's my decision. And I have the power. 659 00:30:24,887 --> 00:30:27,470 Okay. 660 00:30:27,470 --> 00:30:29,095 Then sure. 661 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:30,637 I'd love a blow job. 662 00:30:30,637 --> 00:30:33,011 - Deal. - I get off in two hours. 663 00:30:36,095 --> 00:30:37,929 See you in two hours. 664 00:30:37,929 --> 00:30:39,679 Have a good day! 665 00:30:39,679 --> 00:30:41,762 - Shh. 666 00:30:41,762 --> 00:30:45,929 Whoa! Oh, you sound like your Grandpa Frank. 667 00:30:45,929 --> 00:30:48,595 Yes, you do. 668 00:30:48,595 --> 00:30:50,720 Let's see what's going on in that diaper, huh? 669 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,720 'Cause that's... a little smelly. 670 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,804 Pee-yew! 671 00:30:56,804 --> 00:30:58,053 - I got you. I got you. 672 00:30:58,053 --> 00:30:59,720 I got you. 673 00:31:02,303 --> 00:31:03,970 Whoa! 674 00:31:03,970 --> 00:31:06,970 How'd that much poop come outta you, huh? 675 00:31:06,970 --> 00:31:10,136 One sec, all right? One sec. 676 00:31:10,136 --> 00:31:12,637 Okay, here we go. 677 00:31:12,637 --> 00:31:14,845 Here we go. 678 00:31:14,845 --> 00:31:16,762 Ooh, that's black. 679 00:31:16,762 --> 00:31:18,345 Yeah, they said that'd be black. 680 00:31:18,345 --> 00:31:20,512 I'm really just smushing it around, aren't I? 681 00:31:20,512 --> 00:31:22,428 Uh... 682 00:31:22,428 --> 00:31:25,178 hey, I got an idea, all right? 683 00:31:32,804 --> 00:31:34,595 - I got you. 684 00:31:34,595 --> 00:31:36,762 Ready? 685 00:31:36,762 --> 00:31:38,387 Here we go. 686 00:31:40,345 --> 00:31:43,220 That's good. Okay. 687 00:31:44,178 --> 00:31:45,261 Okay. 688 00:31:46,595 --> 00:31:47,929 Yeah? 689 00:31:47,929 --> 00:31:49,428 Hey. 690 00:31:49,428 --> 00:31:51,470 Good as new. 691 00:31:51,470 --> 00:31:53,887 All right? 692 00:31:53,887 --> 00:31:55,762 Let's get a new diaper on you 693 00:31:55,762 --> 00:31:57,762 and then we can have our nap, okay? 694 00:31:57,762 --> 00:32:00,762 I'm just gonna find a new diaper. 695 00:32:04,387 --> 00:32:06,637 Hospital only gave us one diaper. 696 00:32:06,637 --> 00:32:11,136 Buddy, what are we gonna do? 697 00:32:12,804 --> 00:32:15,553 I know. 698 00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:19,845 Here goes another one! 699 00:32:19,845 --> 00:32:22,637 Open it! Open it! 700 00:32:22,637 --> 00:32:24,679 Open it! Open it! 701 00:32:24,679 --> 00:32:26,970 I bet it's another one of those essential oil diffusers. 702 00:32:26,970 --> 00:32:30,261 It's crazy how many people ordered that piece of crap. 703 00:32:30,261 --> 00:32:33,428 Hey, I'm excited to use my piece of crap when I get home. 704 00:32:33,428 --> 00:32:35,762 Another Vitamix! 705 00:32:35,762 --> 00:32:37,136 - Yes! 706 00:32:37,136 --> 00:32:39,095 - Let's take it, V. - We already have one, Kev. 707 00:32:39,095 --> 00:32:41,095 Oh, right. All right, who wants it? 708 00:32:41,095 --> 00:32:43,428 - Oh, me! - Me, me, me, me! 709 00:32:43,428 --> 00:32:44,804 Here you go, Kermit. 710 00:32:44,804 --> 00:32:45,970 You haven't had anything in a while. 711 00:32:45,970 --> 00:32:48,053 - Thank you, Kev. - You're welcome, buddy. 712 00:32:48,053 --> 00:32:49,303 All right, V. 713 00:32:49,303 --> 00:32:51,053 - Bring the next box out. - Yeah! 714 00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:54,804 - Come on, now! - Come on. 715 00:32:54,804 --> 00:32:56,970 - There's nothin' left. - What? 716 00:32:56,970 --> 00:32:59,220 - Don't be greedy. 717 00:32:59,220 --> 00:33:01,095 You just got a bunch of free stuff. 718 00:33:02,053 --> 00:33:03,512 What about the returns? 719 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,470 - The what? - Yeah. 720 00:33:06,470 --> 00:33:08,970 OBS guys have to drive around picking up packages. 721 00:33:10,261 --> 00:33:11,845 That's right. 722 00:33:11,845 --> 00:33:14,095 There must be tons of stuff out there! 723 00:33:14,095 --> 00:33:16,345 Yeah, well, we're not giving it away for free this time. 724 00:33:16,345 --> 00:33:17,845 - We're not? - No! We're gonna 725 00:33:17,845 --> 00:33:19,637 auction that off, make some money off these ingrates. 726 00:33:19,637 --> 00:33:21,303 Go get that scanner thing from the dead guy, Kev, 727 00:33:21,303 --> 00:33:23,345 - and pick up the packages. - Can I drive the van? 728 00:33:23,345 --> 00:33:24,679 Knock yourself out. 729 00:33:24,679 --> 00:33:26,679 I'm gonna take this bassinet over to Lip. 730 00:33:26,679 --> 00:33:28,929 How attached are you to that pool? 731 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,220 How's it going? 732 00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:38,011 Good. Good. 733 00:33:39,512 --> 00:33:41,011 Well, shit. 734 00:33:41,011 --> 00:33:43,220 Ah, don't let the collar scare you. 735 00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:45,845 Just trying to make extra money for the CYO basketball team. 736 00:33:45,845 --> 00:33:48,011 Not here to take you to heaven...yet. 737 00:33:48,011 --> 00:33:50,470 Or worse, the downstairs place. 738 00:33:52,095 --> 00:33:54,053 - Abort mission! - What? 739 00:33:54,053 --> 00:33:55,261 It's a priest! 740 00:33:57,804 --> 00:33:59,679 Ooh! 741 00:33:59,679 --> 00:34:00,387 Heavens to Betsy. 742 00:34:03,762 --> 00:34:04,845 Are you okay? 743 00:34:04,845 --> 00:34:07,804 My leg. My leg is broken. 744 00:34:07,804 --> 00:34:09,387 Oh, my Go Oh, uh, uh... 745 00:34:09,387 --> 00:34:10,887 a priest, a priest. 746 00:34:10,887 --> 00:34:12,929 That's what I was trying to tell you. 747 00:34:12,929 --> 00:34:14,720 Oh. 748 00:34:16,136 --> 00:34:17,970 Wait. What's going on here? 749 00:34:17,970 --> 00:34:19,428 Uh...we're good, Padre. 750 00:34:19,428 --> 00:34:21,095 Praise Jesus. 751 00:34:21,095 --> 00:34:22,970 I've been healed! 752 00:34:22,970 --> 00:34:24,595 Were you two trying to scam me? 753 00:34:24,595 --> 00:34:26,053 Nah, it's just a misunderstanding. 754 00:34:26,053 --> 00:34:27,095 We'll be on our way. 755 00:34:28,929 --> 00:34:31,345 If you're in need of money for a meal, I can help. 756 00:34:32,095 --> 00:34:33,929 - Come again? - The Lord, of course, 757 00:34:33,929 --> 00:34:36,512 wants you to promise you won't use it on drugs. 758 00:34:38,261 --> 00:34:41,011 That would be a sin. 759 00:34:41,011 --> 00:34:42,595 - Thank you, Padre. - Let's get outta here 760 00:34:42,595 --> 00:34:44,929 - before he changes his mind. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 761 00:34:44,929 --> 00:34:46,470 Okay, okay. 762 00:34:46,470 --> 00:34:48,512 Booze or coke or a little of both, Frank? 763 00:34:48,512 --> 00:34:50,345 What do you say? What do you say? 764 00:34:52,595 --> 00:34:54,553 What happened? 765 00:34:54,553 --> 00:34:56,762 Why ain't you happy? 766 00:34:56,762 --> 00:34:58,053 We got ten dollars. 767 00:34:58,053 --> 00:35:01,303 Ten dollars is not gonna solve our problem. 768 00:35:01,303 --> 00:35:02,804 She's gonna kick us out. 769 00:35:02,804 --> 00:35:04,720 We gotta find a place to sleep. 770 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:06,470 It pisses me off. 771 00:35:06,470 --> 00:35:08,345 I got an inheritance waiting for me, 772 00:35:08,345 --> 00:35:10,804 and Debbie's holding it hostage. 773 00:35:11,970 --> 00:35:13,970 You know what your problem is? 774 00:35:13,970 --> 00:35:16,220 You let women run your life 775 00:35:16,220 --> 00:35:18,303 your daughters, your dead wife, 776 00:35:18,303 --> 00:35:19,929 your mother too, I bet. 777 00:35:19,929 --> 00:35:21,970 It's true. 778 00:35:21,970 --> 00:35:23,303 She made me pee sitting down. 779 00:35:23,303 --> 00:35:26,136 Said I splashed on her magazines. 780 00:35:26,136 --> 00:35:28,887 Those female types have pussy-whipped 781 00:35:28,887 --> 00:35:32,637 the masculinity from your soul. 782 00:35:32,637 --> 00:35:34,720 They have. 783 00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:37,136 You know, because of men like you, 784 00:35:37,136 --> 00:35:40,970 women like Debbie feel entitled and empowered. 785 00:35:40,970 --> 00:35:42,303 They do. 786 00:35:42,303 --> 00:35:44,762 You need to break the cycle, Frank! 787 00:35:44,762 --> 00:35:47,011 Press the reset button. 788 00:35:47,011 --> 00:35:49,428 You need to reclaim your patriarchy. 789 00:35:51,512 --> 00:35:53,345 Let's go back to the house, 790 00:35:53,345 --> 00:35:56,804 storm that castle, and take back what's yours. 791 00:35:56,804 --> 00:35:59,011 - Yes! - Yes! 792 00:36:02,220 --> 00:36:03,470 You're hurting me. 793 00:36:03,470 --> 00:36:05,428 - Whoa, whoa. - Come on! 794 00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:27,762 - All right. 795 00:36:27,762 --> 00:36:29,845 - All right. 796 00:36:29,845 --> 00:36:31,720 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 797 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,887 It's all right, buddy, okay? 798 00:36:33,887 --> 00:36:36,136 It's all right. 799 00:36:36,136 --> 00:36:38,553 It's all right. You can stop crying, all right? 800 00:36:38,553 --> 00:36:40,845 Here we go. 801 00:36:40,845 --> 00:36:43,762 Here we go. Here we go. 802 00:36:43,762 --> 00:36:46,053 Hey, there you go, okay? 803 00:36:46,053 --> 00:36:48,887 I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, okay, okay? 804 00:36:48,887 --> 00:36:50,679 Then I'm gonna come right back. 805 00:36:50,679 --> 00:36:52,136 We'll take a nap together, all right? 806 00:36:52,136 --> 00:36:54,387 - All right, shh, shh. 807 00:36:54,387 --> 00:36:55,804 Stay right there, okay? 808 00:36:55,804 --> 00:36:57,303 Stay right there. Stay right there. 809 00:36:57,303 --> 00:36:58,804 - Okay. 810 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:04,428 All right, I'm going to the bathroom now, okay? 811 00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:14,428 I don't know how people go to the bathroom with babies. 812 00:37:17,303 --> 00:37:20,595 I don't know how people do much of anything with babies. 813 00:37:24,136 --> 00:37:26,470 I don't think I'm gonna be able to... 814 00:37:28,428 --> 00:37:30,970 ...take a shower till your mom gets outta the hospital, 815 00:37:30,970 --> 00:37:33,595 - you know? 816 00:37:39,595 --> 00:37:40,887 Shit. 817 00:37:45,970 --> 00:37:48,679 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 818 00:37:48,679 --> 00:37:50,720 Where'd you go? 819 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:51,970 Where'd you...go? 820 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:53,970 How...does this even happen? 821 00:37:53,970 --> 00:37:55,637 You were right...here. 822 00:37:55,637 --> 00:37:58,011 You were right here. 823 00:37:58,011 --> 00:37:59,553 Are you serious? I lost my baby? 824 00:37:59,553 --> 00:38:01,303 Fuck. Freddie? 825 00:38:01,303 --> 00:38:04,845 Maybe he ran away because you named him Freddie. 826 00:38:04,845 --> 00:38:06,220 Hey. 827 00:38:06,220 --> 00:38:08,136 Hey. 828 00:38:08,136 --> 00:38:11,136 And he has on a sanitary pad with wings? 829 00:38:11,136 --> 00:38:13,136 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I ran outta diapers. 830 00:38:13,136 --> 00:38:15,136 You can't leave a baby alone like that. 831 00:38:15,136 --> 00:38:17,470 - I fell asleep. - You can't fall asleep. 832 00:38:17,470 --> 00:38:18,804 Hey, it was two seconds. 833 00:38:18,804 --> 00:38:20,553 Something could have fell on him. 834 00:38:20,553 --> 00:38:21,970 Someone could have stepped on him. 835 00:38:21,970 --> 00:38:23,387 Yeah, well, there's no one else here, so... 836 00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:29,345 When's Tami gettin' out? 837 00:38:29,345 --> 00:38:32,679 She's still in ICU. I-I don't know. 838 00:38:36,136 --> 00:38:38,470 I brought you a baby gift. 839 00:38:38,470 --> 00:38:41,929 It's a bassinet, but you need to assemble it. 840 00:38:45,679 --> 00:38:48,887 V...I'm tired, you know? 841 00:38:48,887 --> 00:38:51,428 Welcome to parenthood. 842 00:38:51,428 --> 00:38:52,679 You're only supposed to wear 843 00:38:52,679 --> 00:38:55,178 one of those nicotine patches at a time. 844 00:39:00,804 --> 00:39:02,679 So...here we are. 845 00:39:02,679 --> 00:39:04,887 Yup. 846 00:39:04,887 --> 00:39:07,011 Do you do this with a lot of women at the store? 847 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:09,303 I get a fair amount of play. 848 00:39:09,303 --> 00:39:11,387 Really? 849 00:39:11,387 --> 00:39:13,929 Why do you say it like that? 850 00:39:13,929 --> 00:39:15,512 Shoe salesman? 851 00:39:15,512 --> 00:39:17,178 I'm actually a violinist. 852 00:39:17,178 --> 00:39:19,804 Oh! Yeah? 853 00:39:19,804 --> 00:39:21,220 Classically trained. 854 00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:22,720 Studied at Berkeley School of Music. 855 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,053 Oh...that's cool. 856 00:39:25,053 --> 00:39:26,887 I bet you're pretty good. 857 00:39:26,887 --> 00:39:29,011 Bring my violin to work with me every day, 858 00:39:29,011 --> 00:39:32,220 thinking I'll... play it at lunch. 859 00:39:32,220 --> 00:39:34,136 Instead I go to Wetzel's Pretzel. 860 00:39:34,136 --> 00:39:36,220 I'm sure lots of famous musicians 861 00:39:36,220 --> 00:39:37,387 hang out at the food court. 862 00:39:38,929 --> 00:39:40,428 - You ready? 863 00:39:40,428 --> 00:39:42,011 Wait. 864 00:39:42,011 --> 00:39:44,553 You think I like looking at feet all day? 865 00:39:44,553 --> 00:39:47,136 Isn't that your job? 866 00:39:47,136 --> 00:39:50,387 I hate it. I hate myself. 867 00:39:50,387 --> 00:39:53,303 That's why I try to get women to blow me. 868 00:39:53,303 --> 00:39:55,178 Does it make you feel any better about yourself? 869 00:39:55,178 --> 00:39:56,428 For a few minutes. 870 00:39:58,345 --> 00:40:00,595 Until the self-loathing comes back. 871 00:40:00,595 --> 00:40:02,595 - Shall we do this? - No, don't. 872 00:40:05,011 --> 00:40:06,679 I don't want... 873 00:40:06,679 --> 00:40:09,178 blow jobs from random women anymore. 874 00:40:09,178 --> 00:40:10,428 No? 875 00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:15,387 I'm gonna give my notice. 876 00:40:15,387 --> 00:40:16,762 - What about my shoes? - Keep 'em. 877 00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:18,011 - Seriously? - Yeah. 878 00:40:19,553 --> 00:40:21,553 I'm going back to the violin. 879 00:40:26,011 --> 00:40:28,970 Hey. What's goin' on? 880 00:40:28,970 --> 00:40:32,387 Why am I different from everyone in my family? 881 00:40:32,387 --> 00:40:35,720 It's like, if I was adopted, I would understand. 882 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,178 but it's like I spun the roulette wheel 883 00:40:37,178 --> 00:40:38,553 and landed on black. 884 00:40:38,553 --> 00:40:42,428 Because once upon a time, a slave owner raped a slave. 885 00:40:42,428 --> 00:40:44,512 But now I'm being raised by a bunch of crackers, 886 00:40:44,512 --> 00:40:46,637 and they won't even give me the talk. 887 00:40:46,637 --> 00:40:48,345 You don't know about the birds and the bees yet? 888 00:40:48,345 --> 00:40:50,804 Yeah. I've known since I was six. 889 00:40:50,804 --> 00:40:53,720 The talk of how to survive as a black man in America. 890 00:40:56,845 --> 00:40:58,470 Yo, yo, yo. 891 00:40:58,470 --> 00:41:00,428 That's a lotta returns. 892 00:41:00,428 --> 00:41:01,929 Yeah, this scanner machine thingy 893 00:41:01,929 --> 00:41:03,679 is fun as shit. 894 00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:13,553 - Can I help you? 895 00:41:26,637 --> 00:41:29,011 - Bye, Lori. - See ya tomorrow. 896 00:41:29,011 --> 00:41:32,261 Unless I see you tonight when you sneak into my apartment, 897 00:41:32,261 --> 00:41:34,345 'cause you know I leave my key under my mat. 898 00:41:34,345 --> 00:41:35,804 Isn't that sexual harassment? 899 00:41:35,804 --> 00:41:37,553 It doesn't count when you're a dude. 900 00:41:37,553 --> 00:41:38,512 Oh. 901 00:41:43,136 --> 00:41:44,178 So what's your deal? 902 00:41:45,762 --> 00:41:47,178 Meaning? 903 00:41:47,178 --> 00:41:49,512 - Well, you look like a chola. - Excuse me? 904 00:41:49,512 --> 00:41:51,387 And there's been a whole lot of little Mexican kids 905 00:41:51,387 --> 00:41:52,887 coming in here to get takeout food today. 906 00:41:52,887 --> 00:41:54,595 You're making this a race thing. 907 00:41:54,595 --> 00:41:55,762 No. I'm just wondering if you're running 908 00:41:55,762 --> 00:41:58,303 some type of game up in here. 909 00:41:58,303 --> 00:42:00,053 The only game I'm running 910 00:42:00,053 --> 00:42:02,053 is expanding the Captain Bob shrimp business 911 00:42:02,053 --> 00:42:04,053 to the Hispanic community. 912 00:42:12,929 --> 00:42:14,553 Tartar sauce. 913 00:42:18,303 --> 00:42:20,929 Vape? Damn, girl. 914 00:42:22,887 --> 00:42:24,553 I am man! 915 00:42:24,553 --> 00:42:26,929 - Hear me roar! 916 00:42:26,929 --> 00:42:27,970 Rahh! 917 00:42:29,136 --> 00:42:31,053 Oh, shit. 918 00:42:32,261 --> 00:42:34,220 They're takin' my couch! 919 00:42:34,220 --> 00:42:36,804 Hey, leave that right there! 920 00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:38,762 That's my couch! 921 00:42:38,762 --> 00:42:40,762 Perfect. Couch is perfect right there. 922 00:42:40,762 --> 00:42:43,095 We do not need this couch. 923 00:42:43,095 --> 00:42:45,553 Now, take it back right now. 924 00:42:45,553 --> 00:42:47,428 Sorry, man. We just deliver shit. 925 00:42:47,428 --> 00:42:49,512 Ah, so comfy. 926 00:42:49,512 --> 00:42:51,553 And look, no fecal stains. 927 00:42:51,553 --> 00:42:53,303 That's my money you're sittin' on. 928 00:42:53,303 --> 00:42:55,929 We needed a new couch, Frank. So I took care of it. 929 00:42:55,929 --> 00:42:58,053 How 'bout you thank me instead of bitching at me? 930 00:42:59,345 --> 00:43:01,136 - $600? - Wait, what? 931 00:43:01,136 --> 00:43:02,595 - What? - Nice things cost. 932 00:43:02,595 --> 00:43:03,929 Yeah, but it's our money too. 933 00:43:03,929 --> 00:43:06,178 Yeah, we should have a say in what we buy. 934 00:43:06,178 --> 00:43:07,303 Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice 935 00:43:07,303 --> 00:43:08,428 to have some cash to buy diapers 936 00:43:08,428 --> 00:43:10,387 instead of using your sanitary pads. 937 00:43:10,387 --> 00:43:14,095 I, for one, am tired of being repressed and controlled 938 00:43:14,095 --> 00:43:16,220 by the women in this family. 939 00:43:16,220 --> 00:43:17,679 Are you with me, gentlemen? 940 00:43:17,679 --> 00:43:19,220 It might just be the sleep deprivation, 941 00:43:19,220 --> 00:43:21,303 but I kind of agree with Frank. 942 00:43:21,303 --> 00:43:22,929 You know, me too. Debbie and Fiona 943 00:43:22,929 --> 00:43:24,345 have been bitching at us our whole lives. 944 00:43:24,345 --> 00:43:26,136 Look what you've done. 945 00:43:26,136 --> 00:43:27,512 Are you proud of yourself? 946 00:43:27,512 --> 00:43:29,428 No one wants you to be in charge. 947 00:43:29,428 --> 00:43:31,512 We didn't elect you. 948 00:43:31,512 --> 00:43:34,470 We're on best behavior for this little infant boy 949 00:43:34,470 --> 00:43:37,637 who still stands a chance of feeling like a man someday. 950 00:43:37,637 --> 00:43:39,762 Oh, fuck you guys. I don't need this shit. 951 00:43:39,762 --> 00:43:42,887 Fiona left me the money. You don't like it, leave. 952 00:43:42,887 --> 00:43:45,970 Just like a bully to say something like that. 953 00:43:48,970 --> 00:43:51,261 Who wants a beer and chicken? 954 00:43:52,637 --> 00:43:54,303 Ah, dude, your kid smells like an ashtray. 955 00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:27,679 - Dude, I'm stabbing him. - Not if I get there first. 956 00:44:27,679 --> 00:44:29,303 I have the shiv. 957 00:44:29,303 --> 00:44:31,512 Enzo slipped me his through the vent, bitch. 958 00:44:36,470 --> 00:44:38,136 Oh! Shit! 959 00:44:38,136 --> 00:44:40,011 Christ on a cross! 960 00:44:40,011 --> 00:44:41,512 Ohh! 961 00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:44,011 The arm? Weak. 962 00:44:44,011 --> 00:44:45,428 - Oh! - Chester, it's Ian. 963 00:44:45,428 --> 00:44:47,136 You get to stay. I stabbed you. 964 00:44:47,136 --> 00:44:48,345 No, no, no. 965 00:44:48,345 --> 00:44:49,804 Jesus Christ! 966 00:44:49,804 --> 00:44:51,512 Mick, you're gonna fucking kill him! 967 00:44:51,512 --> 00:44:53,261 What are you two morons doing? 968 00:44:53,261 --> 00:44:55,720 Hey, I stabbed Chester. Send me to solitary, okay? 969 00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:57,220 No, no, no. He's taking the fall for me. 970 00:44:57,220 --> 00:44:58,845 Thank you. I-I stabbed this piece of shit. 971 00:44:58,845 --> 00:45:00,595 - No, I fuckin' stabbed in. - Jesus, Chester. 972 00:45:00,595 --> 00:45:02,512 You got two of them to do it this time? 973 00:45:02,512 --> 00:45:03,762 This time? 974 00:45:03,762 --> 00:45:05,720 He does this every couple months. 975 00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,470 Makes a deal with an inmate to stab him 976 00:45:07,470 --> 00:45:09,387 so he can postpone his release. 977 00:45:11,762 --> 00:45:13,720 You two idiots are comin' with me. Go. 978 00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:15,720 - Y - Hey, I'm bleedin' out 979 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:17,387 - over here. - Calm down, Chester. 980 00:45:17,387 --> 00:45:19,303 I'll call the medic. 981 00:45:45,637 --> 00:45:49,011 What are you up to... Deb-or-ah? 982 00:45:57,428 --> 00:46:00,929 Your mommy's gonna love you so much, you know? 983 00:46:00,929 --> 00:46:03,762 She is. Maybe not as much as me, but... 984 00:46:03,762 --> 00:46:06,178 it's gonna be pretty close. 985 00:46:06,178 --> 00:46:09,970 She's gonna gobble up those teeny-tiny hands. 986 00:46:09,970 --> 00:46:11,845 Yeah. 987 00:46:11,845 --> 00:46:15,637 And those teeny-tiny ears too. Huh? I'm sorry. 988 00:46:15,637 --> 00:46:18,387 And then you know what she's gonna do? 989 00:46:20,303 --> 00:46:23,053 One, two, three, 990 00:46:23,053 --> 00:46:24,887 four, five. 991 00:46:24,887 --> 00:46:27,637 - Oh, shit, dude. 992 00:46:31,845 --> 00:46:33,637 Okay, here we go. Here we go. 993 00:46:33,637 --> 00:46:35,553 I got you, bud. I got you. 994 00:46:35,553 --> 00:46:37,720 I got you. I got you. 995 00:46:42,595 --> 00:46:43,929 Everything okay in there? 996 00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:47,220 I almost dropped him. 997 00:46:47,220 --> 00:46:49,011 Ah. 998 00:46:49,011 --> 00:46:50,470 Don't worry if you do. 999 00:46:50,470 --> 00:46:52,679 They're made of Jell-O the first few months. 1000 00:46:55,679 --> 00:46:58,845 He'll be fine. You won't hurt him. 1001 00:47:02,136 --> 00:47:03,762 Get some sleep, son. 1002 00:47:06,053 --> 00:47:07,845 You look tired. 1003 00:47:30,595 --> 00:47:33,512 Well, well. 1004 00:47:33,512 --> 00:47:35,261 What do we have here? 1005 00:47:35,261 --> 00:47:36,929 Mikey? 1006 00:47:36,929 --> 00:47:39,178 I'm not Mikey. 1007 00:47:39,178 --> 00:47:41,345 Jesus, did you follow me here? 1008 00:47:41,345 --> 00:47:43,345 I'm a dangerous man 1009 00:47:43,345 --> 00:47:46,345 with a scary knife. 1010 00:47:46,345 --> 00:47:48,512 And...and... 1011 00:47:48,512 --> 00:47:50,970 I can't breathe in this thing. 1012 00:47:50,970 --> 00:47:52,970 A little help here, please. 1013 00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:55,970 - Ooh! - What the hell do you want? 1014 00:47:58,553 --> 00:47:59,804 Huh. 1015 00:48:11,303 --> 00:48:13,345 You steal all this stuff? 1016 00:48:14,470 --> 00:48:16,178 None of your business. 1017 00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:18,720 "Purchase date." 1018 00:48:21,261 --> 00:48:22,929 "Return by date." 1019 00:48:24,178 --> 00:48:26,387 So you're buying this shit, 1020 00:48:26,387 --> 00:48:28,053 using it, 1021 00:48:28,053 --> 00:48:30,053 and returning it, aren't you? 1022 00:48:31,595 --> 00:48:33,303 Get out of my she-shed. 1023 00:48:33,303 --> 00:48:35,261 Oh, I will. 1024 00:48:35,261 --> 00:48:39,011 I will, as soon as you answer this one question for me. 1025 00:48:41,095 --> 00:48:43,553 Who's your daddy? 1026 00:48:43,553 --> 00:48:45,595 Why are men so pervy? 1027 00:48:45,595 --> 00:48:47,095 I am not blowing you! 1028 00:48:48,762 --> 00:48:50,970 Who said anything about blowing me? 1029 00:48:50,970 --> 00:48:52,970 You just asked, "Who's your daddy?" 1030 00:48:52,970 --> 00:48:55,845 I meant that in a real way, not a sexual way. 1031 00:48:55,845 --> 00:48:59,178 Frank is my best friend! You're practically my daughter. 1032 00:48:59,178 --> 00:49:02,637 Uh, yeah, no, I'm not. 1033 00:49:02,637 --> 00:49:04,887 Who's your daddy? 1034 00:49:04,887 --> 00:49:09,095 As in, you need to respect him. 1035 00:49:09,095 --> 00:49:11,095 Hell no. 1036 00:49:12,595 --> 00:49:14,720 Well, then... 1037 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:16,512 you leave me no choice. 1038 00:49:16,512 --> 00:49:17,970 No! 1039 00:49:17,970 --> 00:49:20,261 Don't. 1040 00:49:20,261 --> 00:49:24,011 You get these back when Frank is head of the household 1041 00:49:24,011 --> 00:49:26,053 and in charge of the family money. 1042 00:49:26,053 --> 00:49:28,303 You don't think I can deck you right now? 1043 00:49:28,303 --> 00:49:30,637 You don't think I could eat these receipts right now? 1044 00:49:30,637 --> 00:49:32,220 Don't eat that! 1045 00:49:32,220 --> 00:49:34,345 You know what you have to do. 1046 00:49:37,345 --> 00:49:39,512 You got 24 hours. 1047 00:49:39,512 --> 00:49:41,595 Make things right. 1048 00:49:48,053 --> 00:49:49,679 Fuck! 1049 00:50:18,679 --> 00:50:20,553 Quit tomorrow, okay? 1050 00:50:58,095 --> 00:51:00,595 Sleep well, my prince, 1051 00:51:00,595 --> 00:51:02,387 for tomorrow... 1052 00:51:02,387 --> 00:51:04,053 you shall be king. 1053 00:51:05,428 --> 00:51:07,470 Yeah. 1054 00:51:16,512 --> 00:51:18,095 Wake up! 1055 00:51:18,095 --> 00:51:20,512 Get up, Gallaghers. 1056 00:51:20,512 --> 00:51:21,929 I just got Freddie back down. 1057 00:51:21,929 --> 00:51:23,387 You wake him, so help me, God. 1058 00:51:23,387 --> 00:51:25,053 Yeah, I know you're gonna throw out my breakfast 1059 00:51:25,053 --> 00:51:27,428 - if I'm not down in time. - What is it this time, Debs? 1060 00:51:27,428 --> 00:51:28,845 Cover your tits, everyone. 1061 00:51:28,845 --> 00:51:30,512 - She may have a knife. - Shh! 1062 00:51:30,512 --> 00:51:33,011 No knives. What I do have, however, 1063 00:51:33,011 --> 00:51:35,512 are ATM cards, one for the each of you. 1064 00:51:35,512 --> 00:51:37,220 What? 1065 00:51:37,220 --> 00:51:39,512 Hundred bucks on each, to be replaced weekly. 1066 00:51:39,512 --> 00:51:40,804 - Sweet. - 'Bout time. 1067 00:51:40,804 --> 00:51:42,470 Well, I really should get more on mine. 1068 00:51:42,470 --> 00:51:43,970 I realized that I've been holding power over all of you 1069 00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:46,428 because I feel shitty about myself. 1070 00:51:46,428 --> 00:51:48,136 Uh, you only pull wings off a fly 1071 00:51:48,136 --> 00:51:50,178 because you're dead inside, right? 1072 00:51:53,303 --> 00:51:55,762 So...one for you... 1073 00:51:55,762 --> 00:51:57,470 and you... 1074 00:51:57,470 --> 00:51:58,845 you. 1075 00:51:58,845 --> 00:52:00,470 Frank, 1076 00:52:00,470 --> 00:52:02,637 if you wanna take over as head of the household, 1077 00:52:02,637 --> 00:52:03,720 please do. 1078 00:52:03,720 --> 00:52:05,512 It's a shit job. 1079 00:52:10,470 --> 00:52:12,970 My receipts. 1080 00:52:27,178 --> 00:52:29,387 I can't believe that's what you wanted to buy 1081 00:52:29,387 --> 00:52:30,512 with your money. 1082 00:52:30,512 --> 00:52:32,011 Gotta start a business, son. 1083 00:52:32,011 --> 00:52:33,887 Can't get ahead on a fry cook's salary. 1084 00:52:33,887 --> 00:52:35,679 Plus, it's better than that shitty ancestry kit 1085 00:52:35,679 --> 00:52:37,261 you wanted to buy. 1086 00:52:37,261 --> 00:52:39,011 - Just wanna know who I am. - You're a Gallagher. 1087 00:52:39,011 --> 00:52:41,428 - Same as me. - I'm black. 1088 00:52:41,428 --> 00:52:42,720 Yeah, and you get to check the black card 1089 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:43,929 for the rest of your life. 1090 00:52:43,929 --> 00:52:45,470 Move to the front of the line. You got it made. 1091 00:52:45,470 --> 00:52:47,512 Except I can't walk down the street wearing a hoodie 1092 00:52:47,512 --> 00:52:50,679 without worrying that a cop's gonna put me in a chokehold. 1093 00:52:50,679 --> 00:52:52,512 You can just pick up your order over there. 1094 00:52:54,512 --> 00:52:56,887 Hey, Anne, I got a proposition for you. 1095 00:52:56,887 --> 00:52:58,345 I know you're selling vape pens 1096 00:52:58,345 --> 00:53:00,303 to little Mexican kids. 1097 00:53:00,303 --> 00:53:02,387 - That is not what I'm d - Don't argue. 1098 00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:03,970 I already looked in your tartar sauce box. 1099 00:53:03,970 --> 00:53:05,512 - Is than a euphemism? - No. 1100 00:53:05,512 --> 00:53:07,637 And I wanna go into business with you. 1101 00:53:07,637 --> 00:53:10,303 Why would I do that? 1102 00:53:10,303 --> 00:53:12,220 Well, because you only have the Hispanic market, 1103 00:53:12,220 --> 00:53:13,845 and if you wanna expand your business, 1104 00:53:13,845 --> 00:53:15,720 you gotta tap into the underage white kids that I know 1105 00:53:15,720 --> 00:53:18,053 - and black kids... - That I know. 1106 00:53:18,053 --> 00:53:21,261 So you and I are partners now. We'll split profits 50-50. 1107 00:53:21,261 --> 00:53:22,387 Liam and I will go to the playground, 1108 00:53:22,387 --> 00:53:23,845 round up new buyers. 1109 00:53:23,845 --> 00:53:25,887 And here's your supplies. 1110 00:53:31,970 --> 00:53:33,679 Menthol? 1111 00:53:33,679 --> 00:53:35,387 Trust me, my customers will love it. 1112 00:53:47,011 --> 00:53:48,136 - I stabbed him first. - No, you did not. 1113 00:53:48,136 --> 00:53:49,553 - Oh, shut up. - You shut up. 1114 00:53:49,553 --> 00:53:50,679 Don't fuckin' tell me what to do. 1115 00:53:50,679 --> 00:53:51,970 If you shut your fuckin' pie hole, 1116 00:53:51,970 --> 00:53:53,095 I wouldn't have to tell you what to do. 1117 00:53:53,095 --> 00:53:54,428 Yeah, please, that'll be the day, 1118 00:53:54,428 --> 00:53:56,011 when Ian Gallagher doesn't nag the shit outta my ass 1119 00:53:56,011 --> 00:53:57,595 and tell me what to do about somethin'! 1120 00:53:57,595 --> 00:53:59,011 You know, if you just wiped the toilet seat 1121 00:53:59,011 --> 00:54:00,553 for once in your life, I wouldn't fuckin' nag you. 1122 00:54:00,553 --> 00:54:01,762 If you just, like, picked up your nail clippings 1123 00:54:01,762 --> 00:54:02,512 Who gives a shit about any of that? 1124 00:54:02,512 --> 00:54:03,679 We're in fuckin' prison! 1125 00:54:03,679 --> 00:54:05,428 - I do, you fuckin' pig. - That's the problem. 1126 00:54:05,428 --> 00:54:07,261 You sound like a couple of old broads. 1127 00:54:07,261 --> 00:54:09,095 I'ma murder you two if you don't stop talkin'. 1128 00:54:19,845 --> 00:54:21,553 Hi, Frank. 1129 00:54:22,470 --> 00:54:24,512 Give us a hand here, would you, kid? 1130 00:54:27,011 --> 00:54:29,261 Hey, Frank, do you know who banged a black person 1131 00:54:29,261 --> 00:54:30,970 in our family lineage? 1132 00:54:30,970 --> 00:54:34,220 Yeah, someone from your mother's grandfather's 1133 00:54:34,220 --> 00:54:36,970 side of the family had a mistress. 1134 00:54:36,970 --> 00:54:38,845 - And she was black? - She is black. 1135 00:54:38,845 --> 00:54:40,512 She's still alive? 1136 00:54:40,512 --> 00:54:42,220 Lives down the street. 1137 00:54:42,220 --> 00:54:43,553 What? 1138 00:54:51,136 --> 00:54:53,595 Why didn't you tell me? 1139 00:54:55,136 --> 00:54:56,261 Get away from the house, Frank. 1140 00:54:56,261 --> 00:54:57,595 You know the rules. 1141 00:55:00,887 --> 00:55:02,303 That's why, son. 1142 00:55:03,305 --> 00:56:03,906 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6z4m4 Help other users to choose the best subtitles